I have experienced much of this hike as painful. Some one younger than me might well see it differently as a glorious adventure. I should be paying attention to novel sensations such as going barefoot. John Muir tied himself to the top of a tree in a storm to experience it more intensely.
5 pm: On a mountain road to Odell Lake, parallel to 395 but higher. How peaceful to get away from traffic for awhile, even if it means more of a climb. I'm in a quaking aspen grove. Lovers carved their initials in the soft white bark long ago. This morning I walked barefoot about ten minutes before stubbing my toe. These boots gave me another blister on the right heel while climbing a dirt road, therefore will not even attempt hiking on the PCT in these boots.
Day 112, Thu 7.22 dawn: A long toss-and-turn night. Seamless silence surrounds self. Encountered a mysterious "HELP" message carved in the dirt road at the junction to Odell Lake but no one answered my calls. Had my second bear encounter just seconds ago. Last night I tossed an empty can of Dennison's Chile about fifteen feet from the tent, intending to pack it out in the morning, but careful to throw it far away from my sleeping space. This attracted a cute 100-lb brown bear who scrambled away when I sat up hearing him sniff at the can. I must be getting careless, or curious. This is such a lonely place. I can understand why native Americans would feel kinship with animals. One-on-one encounters such as this reduce my fear of bears although I still worry about the 500 pound category.
10 am: On a high dirt road parallel to 395 below. Saw three (3) more bears. Ahead of me on the road a 200 pound brown bear bolted when she saw me, but then strangely stopped, turned around and returned, moving backwards and forwards indecisively. I wondering what was going on. Suddenly two little bear cubs darted out of some bushes beside the road and scampered after their mother who led them away into the woods. Later I saw more bear footprints in the soft earth, human shaped except for missing arches, small heels and wider front pads. I have been thinking lately about doing without a tent, if I could get used to mosquitoes. Maybe a tarp would do for rain or shade, larger than a poncho. Then I could carry less weight or more food. According to my Tree Guide I am sitting in a grove of rare hairy cercocarpus trees outside their Arizona range.
noon: Under a black locust tree along a country road in irrigated farmland. The leaves are alternate, once-compound, with paired thorns, blunt tips, smooth fruit pods, and therefore not New Mexico locust, a closely related species. Thorns help plants in arid climates survive large browsing animals. My shortcut on Road 31 caused me to bypass the town of Walker. Hope to find enough groceries in Topaz to get to Markleville. Irrigation canals have transformed this desert floor into an oasis.
pm: On Highway 89, one mile up the canyon, 21 miles to Markleville, on a 100' hill overlooking the highway and a large mountain range to the west. The waitress at the restaurant back at the 395 junction generously filled my green bag full of tortilla chips, and I also found a small store in Topaz. What a relief to be off of 395 for good. The noise of traffic died away as soon as I entered this narrow canyon. Tonight I am sleeping without a tent under clear skies. I wish I had done this sooner. This is a turning point in my hike. Not only did I save time from setting up a tent, but I am no longer so isolated from my surroundings. It feels more natural. In the beginning I needed a feeling of protection but now I have outgrown it. From my sleeping bag wearing my polypro undershirt, I watched a beautiful pink sunset in complete comfort. Another change: I did not have to make camp so early. I rested half an hour after supper, then walked an hour in the cool of the evening unconcerned about finding a wider or more concealed site in fading light. Highway 395 was the worst part of the hike, except for the cross-country episode in South Fork Kings River, but that episode was also the best part in a memorable sense. I'm wearing DEET and a polypro balaclava as additional defense against some mosquitoes which just showed up. In my boots near my head I keep my flashlight, a small can of OC spray and my glasses. I am remembering meditation practice at Jemez Springs. The new moon in the west has its bright crescent on the right hand side facing the setting sun, as contrasted with waning moons which rise late at night with crescent on the left hand side facing the morning sun. If we lived in Australia south of the equator the perceived crescents would be reversed. Without a tent I am noticing how the moon rises later each night [? true but think of it as ever more easterly, moving in the same direction as earth's rotation] because of its retrograde orbit around the earth [? wrong. The only retrograde orbit in our solar system is Triton's around Neptune].
Day 113, Fri 7.23 dawn: The sun went all the way to India while I slept but I could still sleep some more. On waking up I was astonished to see my things lying where I fell asleep beside them last night. The night jumbled them together, now they are back in order again. A few insects droned near my head last night but the balaclava worked. Will probably send the tree book back along with the tent. How does it help to know the names of trees?
pm: 2 miles before Markleville on a forested slope near 89. Got some bread and groceries a mile back and a free cup of black coffee. Today was an uphill climb to Monitor Pass (8134) but then a long gradual descent into dry canyons. Without a topo map every turn is a surprise. It is sort of interesting to guess which way the road will go. But it is more fun to daydream about computer programming after I get out of here. Did about 20 miles today -- boots are OK for level ground but they don't feel right on sliding slopes. Skies cloudy all day. As I gaze up at white clouds from my tentless bed I see black specks of small birds circling ever so high. Imagine there could be food at such an altitude. Other clouds in the distance are darker. I never saw such skies from inside a tent. What have I been missing! Wish I had bought one of those large red onions at the RV store to go with cheese and bread, and next time try mayonnaise instead of miracle whip. Such cluttering details.
Day 114, Sat 7.24 am: Sprinkled a few drops last night more than once. Do not drink coffee at night! I did not sleep a wink the whole night. Protected my sleeping bag from pitter-pats by spreading the poncho over it. Probably will have to carry the tent to Echo Lake or South Lake Tahoe because the Markleville post office will be closed today.
pm: Burnside Lake. An enjoyable day. At the laundromat updated my schedule and wrote letters to Larry Hill and Scott Williamson. Outstanding breakfast at the saloon -- two scrambled eggs, rye toast, spuds, watermelon and hot tea. Used yellow bandanna as a cosy to steep tea five minutes. Got groceries at the small store. Walked four miles out to Grover Hot Springs ($4) and alternated between hot and cold pools until scabs from cross-country scratches sloughed off. Then climbed about 2K feet on a 5-mile trail to Burnside Lake and enjoyed a good supper al aire fresco, sans tent. Skies clear. Feel happy for no particular reason. New revised estimate for Ashland Sept 12 [Not a bad guess -- finished hike on Sept 4]. I told Larry that I might like to work at Argonne again under new leadership and that I wanted to continue programming instead of reopening a spiritual chapter such as yoga or zen. I outlined some computer projects such as TOUR (Traveling Salesman Problem Heuristics) applied to clone ordering, and Stanford applications, and projected schedule (Echo Lake 7/28, Norden 8/1, Belden 8/11, Old Station 8/18, Castella 8/28, Seiad Valley 9/1, Ashland 9/12).
Day 115, Sun 7.25 2 pm: On the outskirts of Myers about nine miles from South Lake Tahoe. Mostly downhill today except for a small climb to Luther Pass. Tried to substitute duct tape for moleskin but a blister formed on right heel anyway, which proves that it is heat that causes blisters more than friction. Very heavy auto traffic coming out of South Lake Tahoe up 89 but many brave bicyclists anyway. A retired man in Markleville told me how he used to collect rice tubes from the fallen enemy in the Far East. The tubes were long cylinders of cloth, sewn in the middle, containing rice on one end, soybeans on the other. His squad would eat the rice even if it was not fully cooked. This makes me think that if I soaked rice and lentils in a watertight container, maybe it would be edible without a stove, and with a little salt, pepper and oil. Have some more ideas for cluster sorting of clones.
Day 116, Mon 7.26 am: South Lake Tahoe. Spent last night in a wooded lot near the Toyota auto dealership behind the Y shopping center. Ate a huge family-size bowl of white rice and a tasty vegetarian plate at the Siam Thai restaurant. Waiter Chai had three Buddhist amulets on a stainless steel chain hanging from his neck.
3 pm: Back at secret camp after a shopping trip. Got a 5x7 green tarp to replace the tent. Got some Teva sandals ($44) when unable to find any wide sneakers, 5 colored envelopes and a used paperback of 21 SF stories by Arthur Clark (50c), a new black Anasazi cotton tank top to replace moth eaten "I Climbed Mt. Whitney", one pound of brown basmati rice, a can of Sterno from Ace Hardware as an experiment, and a book of Buddhist essays by Ayya Khema "Being Nobody, Going Nowhere". I asked Donna to send Lexan containers and steel pot to Echo Lake tomorrow. Saw Jurassic Park for second time at matinee ($3.50) since the waiter I had invited to see it with me last night did not show up. Called Julie. Shaved beard at McDonalds early in the morning. I had stowed backpack out of sight under a big bush. Found everything OK on my returning late at night except that I had to hunt around for about fifteen minutes in the dark. I'm so glad to get rid of those painful Nike boots.
Day 117, Tue 7.27 Echo Lake. Hiked up to Echo Lake, a fairly easy day hike. The Tevas work great. Got a letter from Andrew Hall which cheered me up, that he would write such a polite thank-you for the MSR Waterworks Filter which I sent him. But Donna's package did not arrive [she sent it ahead to Norden] and my passport from Julie did not arrive. So I climbed a steep hill near the Echo Lake lodge with a splendid view of Lake Tahoe to the NE and Echo Lake to the SW and found a little niche among some manzanita bushes, and spent the night under windy but clear skies. Wrote a long two-page letter to Andrew relating some of my adventures at Cedar Grove. I wanted to tell somebody about my hike, someone who is at least partially interested. My adult friends have their families and work to think about. Loneliness has been a drawback of this hike to be sure.
Day 118, Wed 7.28 Wrote some more post cards in the morning, waiting for the mail. The new tarp works fine, there is ample space. Wrote to John & Pip Mulligan, Larry Hill, Mom & Dad, Janie & Joe: "No tent, just a tarp. No shoes, just Teva sandals. No stove, just a can of Sterno. No crampons. No ice ax. No aches, pains or worries." Well, mostly true. Enclosed a picture postcard with the letter to Andrew showing a pretty girl fishing in the lake, "Wish you were here!". Read two novels, a SF story by Jose Farmer and John Le Carre's "Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy". I liked Jim Prideaux as a prep school teacher, an inspiration to his students and independent in his trailer home, surviving his wounds and building a new life. I wish I could be as useful to someone in a meaningful way. Have not heard from Jose since his letter to Agua Dulce last June. All those years together and now not a word, and his phone has been disconnected.
Day 119, Thu 7.29 North of Lake Aloha. No mail again today. Reached Julie by phone. She said Donna sent the gear to Norden and the passport was sent by registered mail but without priority postage. Decided not to spend any more time waiting for it since weather is too windy to relax on the exposed hill. Some family photos from Janie were blown off the cliff. Camping on stone tonight on a cliff south of Heather Lake. Julie mentioned an unjustified service charge by my former Illinois bank which reminds me what a cold place Chicago is and how I don't want to go back there again, in spite of what I said to Larry. Tevas require more attention than boots with respect to foot placement, on both rocks and snow (yes, snow today). They are less cushioned but don't cause blisters, a very big plus. To tell the truth I don't really want to work at Stanford either and face a long commute.
Day 120, Fri 7.30 am: Winds have stopped. A calm sunny morning. Even Dicks Pass ahead looks inviting. Started Ayya Khema's book about letting go. She says the mind has to be trained to be master of the body. All this work of walking may be just a warmup for a longer journey ahead. [maybe so: pct 94, cdt 99]. I don't feel like I am making life style choices consciously. It is more like I am following the walls of a canyon downstream. My enthusiasm for computer work just hasn't bounced back.
7 pm: Past Dicks Pass, about one mile south of Richardson Lake in Desolation wilderness. Covered about 20 miles today, more than twice the distance of 1990 hike in opposite direction. The trail is the same as then, however -- hordes of mosquitoes, numerous blow-downs blocking trail, viewless routes through low land and no trail markers. No hikers would come here knowingly for any other purpose than to get to the other side. Found a new defense against mosquitoes -- without long pants, wear poncho as a sarong. At rest here, deployed the large tarp over both myself and backpack and used poncho as a ground cloth. Where did the Echo Lake wind go now that I need it for these bugs? Dicks Pass was an easy climb. The north slope was only mildly dusted with snow, contrary to the current NFS advisory warning hikers to stay away. What do rangers know but what hikers tell them since they never get out in the field themselves? As I was crossing some snow fields, taking large confident strides in my Teva sandals, I overtook a pair of hikers taking little baby steps across the same slope, planting massive staffs as they inched forward cautiously. This was a big challenge for them! It reminded me of my experience on San Jacinto which I might view differently today. Lost a mile retracing steps at a poorly signed trail junction. Someone has taken all the PCT blazes off the trees. Worrying about my passport getting lost in the mail. I have no immediate plans to use it but it is unfinished business. I do not want to have to make any more post office stops. They break up the continuity of the hike and take my attention off the trail experience. I might even continue past Ashland if I get the rhythm right.
Day 121, Sat 7.31 am: Slept poorly because the moon was so bright the light penetrates the pale green tarp. Still annoyed by worries about the diverted passport. Wish I had the mental power to choose the kind of thoughts I think about, for example cultivate the virtue of loving kindness. Try to cover some ground today to get out of this horrible quagmire.
4 pm: Two miles north of Barker Pass. Resting at a site I clearly remember. Feet hurt -- may try wearing socks to cushion the hard Tevas. Mosquitoes not so bad since crossing Barker Pass. Lake Tahoe in view at last. If I had a can of beans I could use the can to boil water for tea, or try out the rice-and-lentils idea. The list of the "32 parts of the body" doesn't seem complete. Why two kinds of hair? What is oil of the joints? Why is the (brain) in parentheses? [it was added later as the 32nd part. I guess in ancient times its function was unknown]. What about unmentioned but important tissues such as nerves, testicles, ovaries, scar tissue, eye balls, ear wax, blood vessels and sperm? But I suppose the ancient meditation list serves the purpose for which it was intended. Who am I to criticize since just the other day I was questioning the need to know the names of trees.
5:30 pm: Decided to spend the night here, feet hurt too much. Pain is in the Achilles tendon and the pad under the heel. Cracks in the thick callus on right heel keep spreading. Need to remove some of the crust with Pretty Feet at Norden. Applied Ben Gay arthritis strength formula and kept socks on to soften feet overnight. Thousands of gnats swarm in clouds above the damp meadow illuminated by late afternoon sunlight. How do they keep from colliding with each other? Soaking some rice and lentils in a glass strawberry jar tonight. Beginning to change attitude about pea green color of tarp. All these petty likes and dislikes flavor the day like salt and pepper.
Day 122, Sun 8.1 am: Nearly full moon last night in an open clearing, tied bandanna around eyes to mask light. I was woken several times by timid deer coming down for water to the nearby creek near this beautiful campsite. The Khema book alludes to multiple levels of happiness. Should take notes. Should resume meditation practice but don't have the motivation. In spite of all the physical conditioning of the past months my body is stiff. Should resume hatha yoga practice too. One motive for this hike is to develop confidence in my capacity of endurance so that I can draw on it later when I may face future trials. I also wanted to cut loose from everyday concerns, to get more time, but my days are so full of movement there really isn't much leisure time. The recent day I spent without forward movement waiting for mail at Echo Lake was filled instead with mental movement reading two novels, and by gusty winds.
5 pm: 3 miles south of Tinker Knob. Mindfulness of breath could be my walking meditation practice. What Khema says about the body is true -- it doesn't just experience suffering, it IS suffering. It will never be completely comfortable. Yet I continue seeking relief for foot problems. The Tevas size 8 are actually a little too small. Met a Belden-to-Mexico hiker, about my age but with an English accent. Encouraged him regarding his worries about snow and suggested he climb over Barker Pass while the afternoon snow was soft instead of waiting until morning when it would be frozen. Showed him my Tevas and suggested improvising an ice ax with a stick if necessary. The light feeling of mild afternoon hunger in the pit of the stomach strangely resembles the experience of joy.
7 pm: Camped past Tinker Knob on a high ridge among cabbage-like plants having single big yellow flowers with 8-14 petals. The western slopes are covered by them.
Day 123, Mon 8-2, Full Moon. am: Moon torch blazed all night. Occasional breezes, temperatures mild for 8500 feet. Very dusty. Annual plants give a false appearance of prolific life but the dirt underneath is not fertile at this altitude. Only about nine miles to Norden, should get to the post office before noon. Somehow a mosquito bit the tip of my tail bone. Feet and socks are coated with dirt, one consequence of wearing sandals. I might carry odorous socks on my homemade backpack "sock string" instead of mixing them with other clothes in the duffel bag.
Day 124, Tue 8.3 9:30 am: Town House Motor Lodge, 303 W. Second St, Reno, Nevada. So much happened yesterday. Got to Norden before noon, feet hurting from 12 mile morning walk in hard sandals. Got package from Donna at last and talked to Echo Lake post office on the phone. They confirmed receiving my passport the day after I left. They sent it back. I decided to take a break in Reno to get some running shoes since the Tevas will probably not work out for 600 more miles, even though they are light and don't cause blisters. Ancient pilgrims and Indian yogis and American Indians may not have used shoes but they had years to toughen their feet. I got a ride from the Norden gas station down to Truckee with a pair of unemployed drifters in a junky car by offering them $5 in cash and a jar of peanut butter and two pints of milk. While I was sitting on the curb waiting for them to finish wolfing down the food, a man on crutches walked by and handed me $2 feeling sorry for my appearance. Pete, the toothless driver, snatched the two bills from my hand. I rode in the back seat holding my pack and silently gripped the OC spray in case they tried to rob me. However they dropped me off in Truckee as agreed. The greyhound bus to Reno was two hours late leaving. On the way to Reno the bus passed one of the two men hitchhiking at the side of the road.
In Reno I tried a few motels until I negotiated a non-smoking room for $25/night for two nights by talking with the Fiji manager. After taking a luxurious hot shower I cleaned my clothes at a laundromat and bought some Pretty Feet to fix the cracks in my feet. Then I returned to my clean air-conditioned room and took another shower. The Pretty Feet softened the crust so that I could scrape about 1/4" of callus off the heel, where I discovered that the pain I had been experiencing for the past week was due to cracks in the skin, not water blisters. Now that the crust has been removed, healing can begin. Stiff and sore but feeling good, feeling alive, I went out looking for some real food and ate not one but two superb Chinese dinners at the El Dorado casino, washed down with a couple of Jose Cuervo Margarita minis. After this royal repast I returned to my clean air conditioned room and read 1/3 of Michael Crichton's SF novel Sphere. Woke up at 3 am and read another 1/3 in a soft clean bed, dozed off, then finished the last 1/3 on waking up this morning. I don't have to do anything today except find a pair of running shoes. The Sterno experiment flopped -- the heat of 3.3% methyl alcohol is too feeble, so I am back to crackers and gorp for the trail until I can think of something better. Reflected in the large motel bathroom mirror, my body is lean, tan, raw-boned, intense. Bony face, bright eyes. The most striking change is the length of my long torso. Well, lets go out and eat some more, then make a phone call to Footlocker.
pm: Very nice day. Took a bus to Park Lane Mall, got some New Balance shoes ($60) size 8-1/2 4E, comfortable at long last, heavenly actually. Mailed Tevas and miscellaneous stuff back to Julie in Dallas. Sent email greetings to Argonne and Stanford from the University of Nevada computer lab. Read "fare lonely as rhinoceros" poem in Conze at University library. Bought tons of food at the downtown supermarket including two loaves of rye bread, peanut butter, honey, ginger cookies, crackers, chips, butter scotch morsels and Lipton iced tea mix. Polished off another Chinese meal at El Dorado.
Day 125, Wed 8.4 pm: Near top of a wooded hill one mile south of Meadow Lake Road, about fifteen miles north of I80, back on PCT again. Had one last meal for the road at El Dorado, then walked up to the campus bookstore. Not a single book there on Buddhism in that cultural desert. Enjoyed bus ride up to Donner Pass chatting with the bus driver. I seem to enjoy talking to people more than before. In fact I have a tendency to run off at the mouth. Do not remember anything of this trail from my hike from Donner Pass to Mt. Shasta 13 years ago. Today passed pools of standing water, melting snow banks and multitudes of mosquitoes. Short on DEET, hope it lasts ten days to Belden. Have so much food do not have to detour to Sierra City. Peanut butter with honey on rye is a winner although heavy. Caramel drops mixed with gorp a winner. Feel a glowing sense of contentment after that great Reno break, and I am delighted with the New Balance shoes. My only minor regret is having wasted $5 in five one-dollar tokens on a slot machine. The machine didn't even have audio sound effects. I could have gotten more entertainment from the cheaper 25c bandits but since I knew in my heart that I was not going to win, I wanted to get it over with quickly. I enjoyed my sensory splurges although mindful that these enjoyments are as impermanent as the aches and pains which preceded them, and also mindful that I did not have anyone to share them with. Still I had a good time. Walking mindfulness of breath comes and goes. My mental muscles are lazy. It is pleasant to lie on my Thermarest now in a gentle breeze, protected from mosquitoes by sleeping bag, polypro long shirt and balaclava, during this twilight transition. The forest is peaceful. Massaged feet with Ben Gay. Day's work is done. Postponing meditation practice, just taking it easy.
Day 126, Thu 8.5 am: Some large deer passed near me twice last night, one with a rack of antlers. They may not have been aware of my presence since without a tent my profile is a mound on the ground. Did not use the tarp. Slept in moon shadow under three fir trees. Woke early before sunrise but dipped in and out of sleep. Plan to breakfast in Sierra City tomorrow and pick up some mosquito lotion. So peaceful to be here -- why this urge to keep moving? Using my rolled up Thermarest as a substitute for a cushion, I practiced a little bit of meditation. If Eskimos have a dozen names for snow, how many kinds of breaths? There must be uncountable combinations of trail surfaces.
pm: 7 miles south of Sierra City on a saddle in bushy bear country, before descent to Milton Creek. Met a couple of southbound hikers going to Walker Pass, brothers Brett and Tai Pauli. They asked about my running shoes and no tent. It occurred to me that I have taken become more like Scott Williamson who opened my eyes to the possibility of ultra-light hiking back at Big Bear Lake. Only seventeen miles today due to a lazy late start. At afternoon rest cleaned feet in creek and scraped more callus off using Pretty Feet lotion. Heel cracks healing. Feet have finally stopped aching after four months.
Day 127, Fri 8.6 4 pm: North of Sierra City. Last night after I had settled down a bit before the moon rose, a bear hidden behind some bushes across the little clearing from my camp started roaring. I didn't know if it was on account of me. I quickly slipped on shorts, socks and shoes, and tried a test squirt of OC spray, which all of a sudden seemed pathetically weak. I listened anxiously for further developments, ready to run for a tree if necessary, but the bear did not come closer. Finally I drifted off to sleep. Just before dawn the bear started roaring again from the same spot. This time I heard an answering roar in the distance. So he wasn't talking to me at all. I walked the remaining seven miles to Sierra City quickly. Met a father in the campgrounds just outside the town who had climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. He called his two sons over to meet a genuine long distance PCT hiker. I cooperated good naturedly and patiently answered their questions. At the small town general store, a local resident named Paul, 67, a retired carpenter, invited me over to his house where his daughter fixed me a good breakfast. I called REI from the store to order DEET and a few other odds and ends for delivery to Belden. Outside the town, visited a museum exhibiting gold mining equipment from the California gold rush days, and shaved and washed up in a nice clean bathroom. Then climbed about 3K feet up a moderate incline to this mountain shoulder carrying an extra third quart of water now that the dry season is here and snow has melted from these low altitudes. Continue to rejoice in the comfort of my New Balance shoes.
pm: 1/2 mile further, on a hidden fire road off the trail, on a western facing slope. Rearranged small 2-oz and 4-oz bottles -- life has gotten pretty simple to note such trivia!
Day 128, Sat 8.7 noon: Took a side trip up to Sierra Butte Fire Lookout after stowing pack behind some rocks. The active fire lookout tower sits atop the highest peak for miles around. There is a moderate 1400' climb to it from the intersection of the PCT with a trail used by visitors who camp north of here. Without a load I was gliding up the trail effortlessly when I passed a family with three kids -- an older daughter, a boy about ten and a younger brother holding his mother's hand. The middle son was leading the way around some hairpin turns of the path but staying near the inside lane away from the edge. The father called ahead to his son announcing that I was passing and jokingly suggested that his son race me to the summit, but then deprecatingly remarked "Fat chance." As I passed the son I gave a good morning and went on up the road and arrived soon at the base of the fire tower. The observation deck could only be reached by climbing three flights of metal stairs, one of which stretched over a precipice. I am slightly nervous about heights so I held on to both metal railings as I made each step with deliberate care. The ranger welcomed me at the top. The observation room contained a bed, a butane stove and water and instruments for sighting the direction of any fire seen through the panoramic glass windows. While I was talking to the ranger the family finally arrived except for the middle son. The father mentioned that his son was afraid to climb the last steps so he was waiting at the foot of the stairs. Knowing what it is like to be afraid of heights, I said goodbye and went down to find the boy sitting midway between dropoffs on both sides looking downcast. I felt sorry to see him sitting all alone, so I sat down in the dirt opposite him and we talked for about ten minutes until his family came back down. He said he had chosen that spot because it was equidistant from the cliff edges and safer than a more sheltered spot nearby beneath a massive rock which might fall over (although I pointed out that the wind was blowing in the opposite direction). He said he had taken the lead on the road up not out of bravery but because he didn't want to be crowded near the edge. It was surprising to meet a young kid, a picture of health with curly blond hair and blue eyes, fearful of death. I told him that my method for controlling fear of heights was to concentrate on one step at a time or else think of something else such as a birthday party. We talked about other things too such as how passengers on Pan American airlines flights to Australia used to have beds by their windows through which could be seen clouds and ships in complete comfort while the steward served breakfast in bed at 20,000 feet. When his mother came down the stairs, still leading his little brother by the hand and singing a nursery song ("I hate that song," he murmured), she thanked me for staying with her son. I said goodbye again and continued on my way. Mt. Lassen was visible on the horizon.
pm: One mile north of A Tree junction. Clear sky, a small clearing below, dark forest all around, breezy, cold, large snowpacks nearby, sweet scent of mint in the air. Did more than 20 miles today. No bread left. Ate crackers and honey for a cold supper after sundown.
Day 129, Sun 8.8 lunch: East of Stafford Mountain. Met first NFS ranger on the trail since Mexico. He was sawing blow-downs using a portable electric saw packed in with three horses. Two women assisted him, one of them also wearing a ranger uniform. At a PCT register saw entries by Scott Williamson (7.13) and Ad & Trudi (7.16), so I am only a few weeks behind, not too bad, considering ten day layover at Stanford. I might be able to reach Canada after all. The question is whether I want to. My New Balance extra-wide 4E shoes are just a touch oversize in the heel which results in a little bit of play but they are so much better than former shoes that I would not change them for anything. However, I will go easy on using Pretty Feet since some heel callus may be useful. Bothered by sexual fantasies and memories of the past. Ayya Khema observes that young people think about the future because they have a lot of it and old people think about the past for the same reason. When working as a computer programmer my thoughts were focused on work but it takes some effort to keep them concentrated now on hiking and breathing. I am trying to make this hike a walking meditation practice (shikan taza) to be mindful of present surroundings. Just be here now. When old memories or future plans drift into consciousness I remind myself they are only passing thoughts. The purpose for this practice is to break out of negative, habitual thought patterns in order to understand the mental process. Now from the sublime to the ridiculous: I am still swapping 2-oz and 4-oz bottles to find the right combination: pills such as Rolaids, Pepto Bismol, aspirin, and one-a-day vitamins go in one 4-oz bottle. This leaves the 2-oz containers available for Crystal Light punch and lemonade flavors. The 8-oz bottle which fits nicely inside the REI mug can hold Lipton Ice Tea. The other 4-oz bottle can hold the fresh green chile peppers.
3 pm: Bunker Ridge. Up and along ridges, some beautiful views of forested ranges to the east. Rested here longer than planned. Enjoyed serene open space, a clear blue sky, a tall tree in the foreground. Remembered the poem "Those who ignore the appropriate time of their going" by Tennessee Williams, In the Winter of Cities:
"Those that go on through time not meant to admit them are the most valiant explorers, twisting crabwise on their bellies under crisscross barbed wire frontiers, constantly higher, into more breathless country, onto vast snowy plateaus. Stunted men with fierce dogs rush toward them, firing above them to halt them. Under the falsely pitying corona of light before dawn in high country, they rise erect with the rigid pride of the hopeless to hold forth hopelessly forged documents, passport photos that bear them no present resemblance, and are told to go on, continuing being their glory..."
pm: At a hill crest on an abandoned jeep road, surrounded by manzanita bushes and a few pine trees. Burned gingerbread paper bag in a small hole, then fed more pine needles to the cheery little fire to burn some plastic sandwich bags and tortilla chip bags. Then it occurred to me that I might be able to heat tortillas with such an easy fire without leaving any traces. I can't wait to try it out as I am getting so tired of dry crackers. Rye bread is also worth its extra weight eaten with cheese, mayonnaise and fresh green onions. Peanut butter with honey is also worth its weight.
Solo Hike 93 page 5 of 7
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